So lets face it, the 6 people following this blog haven’t read anything from this in a while.
The author though not sure if this has had any significant (or any) impact on their lives , apologizes.
This has been a stressful year, for Americans and non Americans. However the author isn’t going to go into political commentary right now.
Even though this blog is supposed to be dedicated to tech and the impact it has on our lives, she will digress here.
For this, the author will switch to first person.
I think I’ll write about something else here. something that has been bothering me for quite sometime.
I have lacked it for a while.
The energy to just get up and function seems to fade away from me each minute.
It’s not like my mind doesn’t go “eureka” as often as it did when I was a kid. It’s just that as complicated my questions get, the answers get even more complicated.
The energy to chase after the new questions just fade away much faster than they should.
It isn’t the lack of ideas that hold me back, it’s the lack of the ability to dream.
The wide eyed girl with the will to fight the world just gets less and less interested.
Why try when you can’t win? Why bother when there is definitely someone better than you? Why raise your voice when there are thousands to drown it out? What guarantee do you have that this leap you will take won’t mean you won’t break all of your bones?
With all these questions, all courage slips out. The brain with space over a 1000 gigabytes can’t seem to deal with it.
With all of this my days get darker, duller and quieter.
People act like inspiration is some bit of information that you are missing. They search it in people, paintings, books etc.
Maybe it is.
The truth as I see it, seems to be that it’s not just some information, but the ability to process it.
I know the answer of the questions that stop me from functioning every day,
If I don’t try, I won’t ever learn how to win. There is definitely someone better than me, but as for now, I’m the only one doing this. If I don’t raise my voice, it will definitely be drowned out. I have no guarantee that the leap I’ll take won’t hurt me, but there is no other way.
and I think I know why those answers aren’t enough.
Despite knowing all of this, I can’t process the information.
To me it just seems like inspiration is nothing more than the ability to dream and the will to try. It seems like inspiration is the thing you need to fight fear. The fear of getting tired, the fear of getting disappointed, the fear of feeling bored.
However honestly, maybe I’m completely wrong, and that is why I haven’t found it yet…..
~But I sure ain’t going to give up so soon